Day two

So last night I got to play under the stars, then found a hospital parking lot where I could call home for the night. I laid my yoga mat across my back seat, put on my snuggie and prayed I would wake up again. I didn't have as much trouble falling asleep as I thought and I awoke to a gorgeous sunrise around 5:30 am. Made a nutritious breakfast of crackers, peanut butter and jelly, then played my guitar some more and did some reading. My next stop was a cute little town called Park Ridge. I parked my car, and just started walking. Hung out at a park until I got weird looks from kids, then I just walked around. Trader Joe's, antique shops, starbucks, and the library were among my stops. I've been making some interesting discoveries along the way, I'll delve into those a bit more at a later date. I'm stopped at a motel 8 because I needed a bed and a shower. Talk more tomorrow

Day 1

Departed this afternoon. Not knowing where you are going is both terrifying and invigorating. After driving about 45 minutes I decided to send my GPS off in search of coffee. I made my first selection, George's Koffee Kup because I enjoyed their whimsical use of K's. It led me to a tiny farm town called Kouts, and a promising looking diner. The promises were broken, however, once I spotted the unlit "open" sign. Disappointed I set my GPS for a near Starbucks in Rensselaer. Not as much character as I was hoping for, but least I knew they would be open. A surprise and a blessing came when one of the baristas and I struck up a conversation and I discovered that he was also a restless souled believer like myself, with a passion for ministry and a mutual friend from my college town. He gave me some good advice, kind words, and encouragement. My plan for tonight is to find a quiet country road where I can see the stars, lay my blanket across my hood, and play guitar to the night sky until I feel tired enough to sleep. Goodnight friends, See you all tomorrow.

Pilgrimage

So here it is; the trip I have been dreaming of since Christmas break. Although it is on a much smaller scale than originally intended, the purpose remains the same. I am setting out to find the answers to the questions my heart has been asking about God, to find myself, and to face my fears. I fear driving to places I have never been; I'm driving to several. I fear being alone; I will be far away from anyone familiar. I fear talking to strangers; I will try to engage nearly everyone I come across. I fear change; I will be changed.What this means for the blog is that for the next five days this will be where I will chronicle my experience, what I think and feel. I warn you, these will not be organized or even coherent thoughts. They will be emotion driven and mostly consist of me re-discovering discoveries I made and forgot. One trip to walmart for some last minute essentials and off I go. Yay!!!

Reinvention

Sometimes, you just have to reinvent yourself. I've been changing a lot lately, and I guess one day I looked in the mirror and decided my outside didn't match the way I felt on the inside. So I gave myself a makeover. I got a tattoo to remind myself to always live with and chase after passion. I chopped all my hair off to match my new- found feelings of independence. I dyed it dark because I felt like it. Tomorrow I'm taking a week long road trip to find myself, and to find God. My budget is about $120, which means lots of sleeping in my car and cheap food but I am eager for some alone time to think and read.
I have a stack of 4 or 5 books that I hope to finish by the end of the trip, and about a million questions. I'll be happy if even one of them is answered at the end.
I have an atlas, a suitcase, a pillow, and my guitar but the one thing I don't have is a plan. I'm just going to go and see where it takes me. Adventure, friends!!! What would life be without it?

Home is where the heart is

Guess what, friends!! I got my first tattoo! I designed this tattoo sophomore year when I studied the heart in school.I found a fascination and awe of the cardiovascular system. I love that a small, fist shaped hunk of muscle is responsible for circulating blood by contracting 70-100 times a minute for your entire life! And I love that an electrocardiogram (or EKG) can give a visual representation of the electric impulses generated by each section of the heart. That way, just by looking at the shape and spacing of the peaks and waves, you can tell what is going wrong or right in the heart. The lines are clean and graphic, but also anatomically correct. You can see the P wave, QRS complex, and a small T wave. I'm really pleased with how it turned out. What is means to me personally, is to always chase after what you are passionate about, what your heart beats for.

Appearances can be deceiving

Today I thought about carrying around a flask or a bottle in a paper bag, but fill them with fresca (or any other beverage of my choice). People would see, assume, likely judge, but then I would have a scapegoat. When I say ridiculous/bizarre things, act like a goof, do something stupid or put my foot in my mouth, they'll all just cluck their tongues and go, "oh it's understandable... she's drunk". I could get away with absolutely anything!.... until the intervention, of course.

I hate being happy.

Ok so perhaps that was a slight exaggeration... I don't hate being happy. But now that I find myself in a good place and on the way to contentment, I find myself thinking back fondly and almost longing for days when my life was in tatters and I was unhappy and discontent. Is it because I am scared of stagnancy and *gasp* boredom? I honestly couldn't tell you. My psyche is a hot mess and I would much rather just watch TV than suss out whatever the heck is going on there.