Tuesday, September 3, 2013
The Problem of Pain, The Purpose of Pain
I read months ago C.S Lewis' chronicle of his experiences after the death of his beloved wife, 'The Problem of Pain'. In true Lewis form, he pulled the pins from his heart, placed there by mortality, and named each one. He cut apart and catalogued every iota of his broken heart, giving purpose to the pain. After the hurt and anger of my own loss of love (whether it was storge, philia, or eros, I can't presently tell) subsided, I began to do the same. I dissected the whole business like a surgeon until the pieces began to fit once again together. Not every unsuccessful relationship is a failure, not if it was dedicated to the glory of God. Were mistakes made by each party involved? Of course... but the salvation and grace of one was extended to the other. Two children of God, growing and falling together. I see now the effects. My dear boy, previously self-relient and unfocused, remedial and inflexible in the search for the meat of Him. Now, well connected in the fellowship and now with a full knowledge of the weakness of self and the need for utter dependence on the grace of God. And me...before I was a bitter, self-involved shrew of a woman who sneered at the role of a biblical woman and cynical to the core. Now I find myself changed to one who's heart is scarred but softened, hands that are weary but open, and eyes that search only for the Savior, both in Heaven and in the hearts of the Brothers around me. Yes, I still find myself wistful and longing for the friend that I had and lost, and I am eager for the day I have that friend back. But until then I will pray for both of us, that God would continue the work he started with our clumsy, baby deer relationship. Praise the Lord for His goodness to His servants, and praise Him for the purpose of pain.