steward

Today the church service was about Jonah. If you aren't familiar with the story, it is about a prophet who receives a calling to Ninevah and promptly goes in the opposite direction. His journey to run from God leads him to a boat, then the sea, then a fish, then to the shore of the place he was meant to be in the first place. I used to be Jonah, having my faith tested and having to choose whether or not to answer my calling. I find my faith being tested once again, but in a different way. Now, I am ready to follow the calling. My shoelaces are tied, my feet are itching to go where the Lord leads me, and my hands hold loosely to the things that tie me to my current location. There is just one thing, one vital thing, missing from the equation, and that is the calling. I have no direction, no leading, my spiritual compass just spins and spins and clouds obscure the northern star. I am lost. I feel like I have a car packed for a long roadtrip, but on my GPS appears just one word: GO. And I am so petrified of taking a step in the wrong direction that I am tempted to take no step at all. Perhaps God is testing my faith by keeping my calling from me, and I simply have to act blindly, trusting that he will guide my steps. Inaction would make me like the servant who buried his master's money out of fear. I need to act wisely, be a good steward of the life I have been given by using what I know of the God I serve to plan my future. Hold my life, my choices, up to the light of His word and pray that His glory shines through. I want what He wants. I just wish that He would let me in on the plan.