I miss the days when I didn't care. My sense of well-being was unflappable and my desire for the great beyond went untapped. But in these days of rapid change and growth, I find myself stirred to action; to passion, if you will.
Wanting something, really wanting something, is scary. When you really want something, the desire for that thing feels almost like possessing it. And when you are denied that thing, it feels very much like losing it.
I find myself wanting something very badly.
But those two things are directly oppositional.
Either way I win, and either way I lose. But I trust the Lord and I trust His plan for my life. I know he has my best in mind, and He has big plans for me in the scope of His kingdom. I trust that, I really do.
I just wish He would let me in on the plan because not knowing is. just. awful.