Wednesday, April 20, 2011
tell me your heart doesn't race for a burning building
Do you ever get the impulse to jump in front of a car or throw yourself off of a tall building? And please don't misunderstand me, I am not morbid or suicidal, and I don't wallow in the macabre. I would often experience those impulses while going for a walk along highways or riding my bike across a bridge, and would be deeply disturbed by them. "Am I suicidal? Do I want to die?" But then I realized I did not desire death, I simply wanted to experience feeling truly alive. So much of my life is spent in a numb, almost dream-like state that the surge of adrenaline accompanying such a catastrophe was exactly what I needed. Also, I just want to know what it's like to be struck by a car. Call me curious. Do you feel that way, desperate for something, anything to make you feel....really feel alive?
On a lighter note, I am treating myself to a new pair of shoes. I have it narrowed down to two. Help me pick?