Trucks are prohibited...but you are always welcome

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

tell me your heart doesn't race for a burning building

Do you ever get the impulse to jump in front of a car or throw yourself off of a tall building? And please don't misunderstand me, I am not morbid or suicidal, and I don't wallow in the macabre. I would often experience those impulses while going for a walk along highways or riding my bike across a bridge, and would be deeply disturbed by them. "Am I suicidal? Do I want to die?" But then I realized I did not desire death, I simply wanted to experience feeling truly alive. So much of my life is spent in a numb, almost dream-like state that the surge of adrenaline accompanying such a catastrophe was exactly what I needed. Also, I just want to know what it's like to be struck by a car. Call me curious. Do you feel that way, desperate for something, anything to make you feel....really feel alive?
On a lighter note, I am treating myself to a new pair of shoes. I have it narrowed down to two. Help me pick?


  1. Yes! I'm glad I'm not that only one! For me, it's usually when I'm in the car. I'm SO afraid of car wrecks, but sometimes I just get this overwhelming impulse to rear-end the car in front of me! Or run off the road! Just for... kicks, really. The excitement and drama. I don't actually *want* to, and would never purposely do it, but something in me wants that thrill. I do other things to satisfy those impulses like cutting/dying my hair or suddenly deciding to boycott something. :)


  2. Gah!! Me too!! Kylin, I just adore you

  3. I love reading your blog!

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