Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Will miss: waking up early and seeing the sun rise as I walk to class, laying out on the lawn and studying, people watching between classes, all-nighter cram sessions with friends, having something to dress outrageously for, not being held accountable for most of my actions, having summer break, having Thursday be a socially acceptable day to go to the dancey bars.
Won't miss: Waking up early to drag my butt to class, walking in the snow and rain, waiting on buses, sitting for hours in a classroom, obscene amounts of schoolwork, stress of homework and exams, not having time for friends, feeling like a child most of the time.
So all-in-all, I am ready for this transition. All I have to do is survive finals week. Eye of the tiger!!!!
Monday, April 25, 2011
So rather than write the aforementioned rant, I will simply say, friends, rejoice in this day. Let's put aside our differences and brokenness and remember the events that transpired to give us the grace and freedom we enjoy so undeservedly. Happy Easter <3
P.S. I know this is a day late, I wrote it in church and never got access to a computer. Oopsy :)
Saturday, April 23, 2011
- Fried Chicken
- the smell of Folger's coffee
- Brown carpets
- The movie, "It's a Wonderful Life"
- Japanese food
What is home to you?
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I watch my fingers as they reach for that fateful piece. That wrong piece. That vital.last.piece.
Inwardly I scream at myself not to touch it, but I know I will, I always do.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Do you ever get the impulse to jump in front of a car or throw yourself off of a tall building? And please don't misunderstand me, I am not morbid or suicidal, and I don't wallow in the macabre. I would often experience those impulses while going for a walk along highways or riding my bike across a bridge, and would be deeply disturbed by them. "Am I suicidal? Do I want to die?" But then I realized I did not desire death, I simply wanted to experience feeling truly alive. So much of my life is spent in a numb, almost dream-like state that the surge of adrenaline accompanying such a catastrophe was exactly what I needed. Also, I just want to know what it's like to be struck by a car. Call me curious. Do you feel that way, desperate for something, anything to make you feel....really feel alive?
On a lighter note, I am treating myself to a new pair of shoes. I have it narrowed down to two. Help me pick?
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
|Please... let's not stand on formality.|
7:30 am- awoke and went downstairs to the kitchen to make coffee and nom on homemade banana bread.
8:30-9:30 yoga by the bay window overlooking the lake. The sunrise was just beautiful.
9:30-10:30 Sat on the dock by the lake with a blanket, cup of coffee, and my journal and had the most wonderful alone time with God. Listened to Bon Iver and watched the waves twist and break in the wind. I am truly blessed today, I pray for many more mornings like these.
10:30-12pm Everyone else woke up and we made cinnamon rolls and laughed and talked. What a perfect Saturday!
Tell me about your idea of the perfect Saturday, I'd love to hear it.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
1. Put your hands in the air.
2. Wave them like you just don't care.
Got it? Good. I'll see you on the dance floor in five.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Also, I was introduced to a new band today. They are called Freelance Whales. You should listen to them...
Also also, I am trying to decide whether to grow my hair long again or cut it shorter.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Now this doesn't mean I will give up the child-like parts of myself that I love. I will still climb trees, giggle at the word "duty", dip my cookies in milk, and gawk at sunsets like I've never seen one before. But when it comes to my professional life, I will grab life by the horns and (pardon the expression) make it my bitch.
Boys and girls, it's a new day.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
It meant the world to me.
Can you relate?
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
I am not cut out for adulthood. How do I know, you ask? Because during an important group meeting today I got lost in thought, staring out the window. Thinking about how wonderful it would be to be a squirrel. To climb trees all day, all the while waving and gesticulating emphatically with my fantastic tail. The only things on my To Do list would be:
- gather nuts
- not get run over
- have sex
So tomorrow at 11:11, I know Exactly what I am going to wish for. So if you see a squirrel tomorrow waving its tail extra emphatically... It's me.
Ok so this is most definitely not a fashion blog, but I wanted to talk about a few trends I have noticed and love.
1. Headgear lust- bowler hats. I love them. I bought one but my head is too small to really pull it off so I will keep searching for one that fits a little better
2. shown to above right, Mary Jane wedges. Where has this shoe been all my life?? It can be dressed up or down, worn with jeans, leggings or dresses. And also wicked comfortable.
3. Hair- A recent trend I've noticed is long dark hair with blonde ends, like a short punk blonde style that grew out forever, as seen above left. I really like the look, but unfortunately ever since I chopped my locks, this one won't be an option for me for quite a while yet.
My new favorite fashion accessories for the upcoming season are: sheer white polka dotted tights, just got a pair at target and they are simply amazing. Wear them under shorts or with a minidress. Combat boots, this seasons badass alternative to the masculine gladiator sandles. Mismatched earrings, my favorite pair is a skeleton key on one ear and a lock on the other. Two-fingered rings, I got the perfect one a few months ago that I wear on my ring/middle fingers and it has the word LOVE encrusted with cubic zirconia. It's like a girly version of brass knuckles. What are some of your favorite fashion items for this spring?
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I laced the numb, dead fingers through those on my other, still living, hand
and for that moment, I felt what you would feel if you held my small, often cold hand
while going for a walk
snuggling on the couch
perhaps in a movie theater
in the car... no wait!! I need it to maintain 10 and 2 positioning....
But nevertheless, I decided it felt nice.
I would highly recommend it.
Was it Mark Twain that said, "I never let school interfere with my education"? Or did I just make that up... Well, if dear Mark did say that, he sure had it right. I love to learn, I think of myself as a life-long learner... but I hate school. Honestly, I feel like school is one of the biggest obstacles standing in the way of me and real learning. Sure, I am collecting a mass of facts and knowledge and receiving validation in the form of grades, but real learning is not happening as my butt remains glued to the desk chair.
Also desks and adulthood don't go together, in my opinion; perhaps that's why I still feel like a child most of the time.
To learn, I need to read books written by thinkers and dreamers, I need to climb mountains and I need to interact with people from other cultures. I need to be given plenty of room to get lost, and to fail. I can't learn inside of a box. I can be trained, but I can't learn. I know that what my schoolbooks and professors have to teach me may help me in my chosen profession, but work is such a small part of life. (to me, anyway... I know a multitude of people who would disagree)
This summer I am planning a two week roadtrip to do some searching for the Heart of God and hopefully stumble upon my own in the process. I anticipate learning more in those two weeks than all four years of college.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Wanting something, really wanting something, is scary. When you really want something, the desire for that thing feels almost like possessing it. And when you are denied that thing, it feels very much like losing it.
I find myself wanting something very badly.
But those two things are directly oppositional.
Either way I win, and either way I lose. But I trust the Lord and I trust His plan for my life. I know he has my best in mind, and He has big plans for me in the scope of His kingdom. I trust that, I really do.
I just wish He would let me in on the plan because not knowing is. just. awful.